Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Date: Mon, 10 Jul 95 1:25:03 EDT
From: woodhams@phoenix.princeton.edu (Michael Woodhams)
Subject: An uplifting experience

The maths/physics/computer science building at Auckland University was
built in about 1970, and in a typical penny pinching maneuver, obsolete
lifts were installed. As these are now 20 years old, and spare parts have
probably been unavailable for much of that time, they are, to say the
least, unreliable. Your life flashes before your eyes whenever you enter
one, and an office mate of mine maintained (over my objections) that there
are no Atheists in lifts. I lived in constant dread that I would get stuck
in a lift when I needed to go to the toilet.

Anyway, one morning I came in and found that both lifts were operating
flawlessly. (As opposed to the more common event of operating floorlessly.)
They opened the doors smoothly, they weren't in their homicidal "close the
doors again before they even completely open" mode, they weren't in their
"sulk in the basement" mode, when they stopped, you could get out without
stepping up or down 30 cm and they took less than one minute between
floors. Inspired by this unprecedented event, I went up to my office and
soon returned to the lobby with a notice:

"Due to circumstances beyond our control, both lifts are fully
operational. We apologize for any inconvenience. Normal service will be
resumed as soon as possible."

Sure enough, next morning the sign was gone, and an engineer had
disassembled lift spread around the lobby for repairs.