How does a computer chicken cross the road?

 NT Chicken:
Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

 OS/2 Chicken:
It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody
noticed.

 Win 95 Chicken:
You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it
still tastes like ... chicken.

 Microsoft Chicken (TM):
It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

 OOP Chicken:
It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

 Assembler Chicken:
First it builds the road ...

 C Chicken:
It crosses the road without looking both ways.

 C++ Chicken:
The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on
the other side.

 VB Chicken:
USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

 Delphi Chicken:
The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

 Java Chicken:
If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download
one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)

 Web Chicken:
Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

 Gopher Chicken:
Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

 Newton Chicken:
Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across
the road in your pocket!

 Cray Chicken:
Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid
nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

 Quantum Logic Chicken:
The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road
until you observe it on the side of your course.

 Lotus Chicken:
Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

 Mac Chicken:
No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so
there's no way to tell it to.

 Al Gore Chicken:
Waiting for completion of NCI (Nation Chicken-crossing Infrastructure) and
will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming he's re-elected and the
Republicans don't gut the program.

 COBOL Chicken:
    0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
    IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
       PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
       VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
          ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
    ELSE
       GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING