*** The Engineers ***

A math/engineering convention was being held. On the train to the convention,
there were a bunch of math majors and a bunch of engineering majors. Each of
the math majors had his/her train ticket. The group of engineers had only ONE
ticket for all of them. The math majors started laughing and snickering. Then,
one of the engineers said "here comes the conductor" and then all of the
engineers went into the bathroom. The math majors were puzzled. The conductor
came aboard and said "tickets please" and
got tickets from all the math majors. He then went to the bathroom and knocked
on the door and said "ticket please" and the engineers stuck the ticket under
the door. The conductor took it and then the engineers came out of the bathroom
a few minutes later. The math majors felt really stupid. So, on the way back
from the  convention, the group of math majors had one ticket for the group. 
They started snickering at the engineers, for the whole group had no tickets
amongst them. Then, the engineer lookout said "Conductor coming!". All the
engineers went to one bathroom. All the math majors went to another bathroom
Then, before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left the
bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said "ticket please." :-)

*** Woof, woof! ***

A man who needed a secretary hung a sign in his window that said, "Secretary
wanted to file and type. Must be bi-lingual." Within a few minutes, a dog came
trotting into his office with the sign in his mouth. At first the man was
irritated that a dog had somehow gotten into the building, so he tried to shoo
him away. The dog dropped the sign on the man's desk and said, "Woof, woof!"
The man gave him a puzzled look and said, "Don't tell me you're here about the
secretary job!" The dog replied, "Woof, woof!" Skeptically, the man said, "OK,
here! See if you can file these papers." The dog grabbed the papers in his
mouth, and filed them correctly in just a few minutes, trotted back to the
man's desk and said, "Woof, woof!" The man was amazed, but not quite convinced,
so he handed the dog some notes and said, "Here, see if you can type this up."
The dog took the notes, typed up the paper, and dropped it on the man's desk
with another "Woof, woof!" The man said, "Well, I'm convinced you can do the
job, but the sign says that you must be bi-lingual," to which the dog replied,
"Meow!"
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